Step 1: Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C) and grease a 9-inch square baking dish with butter or coconut oil.
Step 2: In a heatproof bowl, combine the chopped dates and baking soda. Pour the boiling water over them and let soak for 15 minutes until the dates are soft. Mash slightly with a fork.
Step 3: In a large mixing bowl, cream together 1/2 cup softened butter and 3/4 cup brown sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well.
Step 4: Fold in the flour, baking powder, and desiccated coconut, alternating with 1/2 cup of coconut milk. Stir in the date mixture (including the soaking liquid) until just combined to form the sticky coconut date pudding with caramel sauce batter.
Step 5: Pour the batter into the prepared baking dish and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean.
Step 6: While the pudding is baking, prepare the caramel sauce by combining 1 cup coconut milk, 1/2 cup butter, 1 cup brown sugar, and sea salt in a saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring constantly for 5-8 minutes until thickened.
Step 7: Once the pudding is out of the oven, prick the surface with a fork and pour half of the warm sauce over the top. Serve the sticky coconut date pudding with caramel sauce warm with the remaining sauce on the side.